There are few pleasures equal to that of imparting to a voracious learner the knowledge that one has grown old and weary in acquiring.

A man who takes himself too seriously will find that no one else takes him seriously.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

I'm a man of simple tastes. I'm always satisfied with the best.

My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's.

A pessimist is somebody who complains about the noise when opportunity knocks.

I never put off till tomorrow what I can possibly do - the day after.

Hear no evil$$$ speak no evil$$$ and you won't be invited to cocktail parties.

They've promised that dreams can come true - but forgot to mention that nightmares are dreams$$$ too.

The nicest feeling in the world is to do a good deed anonymously -- and have somebody find out.