By admin, 25 November, 2023

Everything has turned sour$$$ I'll never be carried away with joy again. There's a terrible clarity dominating everything. As though the world were made of crystal so that you only have to flick part of it with your fingernail for a tiny shudder to run through it all. And then the loneliness$$$ it's something that burns. Like hot thick soup you can't bear inside your mouth unless you blow on it again and again. And there it is$$$ always in front of me. In its heavy white bowl of thick china$$$ dirty and dull as an old pillow. Who is it that keeps forcing it on me?

By admin, 25 November, 2023

Even though still young$$$ I did not know what it was to experience the clear-cut feeling of platonic love. Was this a misfortune? But what meaning could ordinary misfortune have for me? The vague uneasiness surrounding my sexual feelings had practically made the carnal world an obsession with me. My curiosity was actually purely intellectual$$$ but I became skillful at convincing myself that it was carnal desire incarnate. What is more$$$ I mastered the art of delusion until I could regard myself as a truly lewd-minded person.