And then$$$ at this stage$$$ every dictator comes up with the notorious and typical demand: he asks the people for bodyguards to protect him$$$ the people's champion.

I felt dreadfully inadequate. The trouble was$$$ I had been inadequate all along$$$ I simply hadn't thought about it.

We shall board our imagined ship and wildly sail among sacred islands of the mad till death shatters the fabulous stars and makes us real.

I collected men with interesting names.

The silence drew off$$$ baring the pebbles and shells and all the tatty wreckage of my life.

I am still raw.<br>I say I may be back.<br>You know what lies are for.<br>Even in your Zen heaven we shan't meet.

I wanted change and excitement and to shoot off in all directions myself$$$ like the colored arrows from a Fourth of July rocket.

Well$$$ I know now. I know a little more how much a simple thing like a snowfall can mean to a person.

The more hopeless you were$$$ the further away they hid you.

There is so much hurt in this game of searching for a mate$$$ of testing$$$ trying. And you realize suddenly that you forgot it was a game$$$ and turn away in tears.