<p>Of all the rash and midnight promises made in the name of love$$$ none was more certain to be broken than "I'll never leave you."</p>

<p>Whither goest thou$$$ America$$$ in thy shiny car at night?</p>

<p>He who knows best knows how little he knows.</p>

<p>I am I$$$ and I wish I weren't.</p>

<p>Most people enjoy the sight of their own handwriting as they enjoy the smell of their own farts.</p>

<p>A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.</p>

<p>At the best of times$$$ spring hurts depressives.</p>

<p>In the beginning$$$ there was nothing. And God said$$$ Let there be light. And there was light. There was still nothing$$$ but you could see it a lot better.</p>

<p>I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.'</p>

<p>All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.</p>