... I have dreams of you too$$$ Mariam jo. I miss you. I miss the sound of your voice$$$ your laughter. I miss reading to you$$$ and all those times we fished together. Do you remember all those times we fished together? You were a good daughter$$$ Mariam jo$$$ and I cannot ever think of you without feeling shame and regret. Regret… When it comes to you$$$ Mariam jo$$$ I have oceans of it. I regret that I did not see you the day you came to Herat. I regret that I did not open the door and take you in. I regret that I did not make you a daughter to me$$$ that I let you live in that place for all those years. And for what? Fear of losing face? Of staining my so-called good name? How little those things matter to me now after all the loss$$$ all the terrible things I have seen in this cursed war. But now$$$ of course$$$ it is too late. Perhaps that is just punishment for those who have been heartless$$$ to understand only when nothing can be undone. Now all I can do is say that you were a good daughter$$$ Mariam jo$$$ and that I never deserved you. Now all I can do is ask for your forgiveness. So forgive me$$$ Mariam jo. Forgive me$$$ forgive me. Forgive me...