The only difference between reality and fiction is that fiction needs to be credible.

If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom$$$ we need only observe it in election times.

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles$$$ but most of them have never happened.

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often$$$ and for the same reason.

Be good and you will be lonesome.

The right word may be effective$$$ but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.

My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit$$$ you would stay out and your dog would go in.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.